(Boyd William White and Aunt Kacey)
I am babysitting this sweet little guy today and it is bringing up quite a few questions that have been weighing me down for quite some time.
The major one being....Am I done? I love babies, I love feeling them kicking and moving inside me, I love holding them and knowing I just met them but love them more than they will ever know. I love watching them grow up and seeing how their personality differs from their brothers. I love being their mother, and knowing they love and depend on me.
BUT....At some point you have to say enough is enough, right? Mason is eight now and we are starting to get really busy with sports and scouts. And Camden will be 7 soon and we are starting with him too. We are getting very busy and the question is do I start over? Do I throw a wrench in my routine?
And don't think that being busy is the only reason, there are plenty more. Like I am crazy! I am a high strung person, and is having another going to make it worse? Is having one more going to make me a better or a worse mom?
I am really starting to enjoy the age Morgan is at too. He isn't as much work as he once was, and we could finally work on our marriage and do things for just us, once in a blue moon, and know the kids are going to be just fine without us.
Oh the dilemma! I am so torn. I really deep down would love another baby, but even on the rare chance it turned out to be a girl, I feel the same way. I wonder if i even really need it, and that is huge. I have always thought I would love to have my own sweet little girl, but I am just not sure now if the chaos in my home would be worth it, and if the asylum has room if it isn't.
What are your thoughts? DISCUSS!
6 comments:
You amaze me being able to handle 4! I'm asking myself these questions and I only have 2. But you know it would be great to have a little Tamzen Rae in your house :)
I say go for it.. stress or no stress once the baby is here you won't be able to imagine life without.
There is no one who can answer that besides your Heavenly Father and I already told you that he will send one if you put it out there. You are a great mom! And I know you could handle it with grace, but your sanity is important and so is your relationship with Chris. I wish you the best in this life changing decision...maybe you can help me when I get there...because we both know I am the younger friend. muah! love ya
You know, I said I was done after 4 right? Then that feeling kept creeping up that there were more sweet spirits that were supposed to be here. I can't even imagine my life without Harper and Lola and now this new one. Look, the Lord provides. It's a personal decision you've gotta make and let me tell you, you can't let anyone else make it for you. Pray about it. Ponder it. Go to the temple and ask.
I can NEVER afford babies but they come and we can always make it work, and they're such blessings. Even the rest of my kids agree...these babes saved our damaged life.
Do what you guys wanna do. You've got years and years to be just you and Chris. Before you know it they'll all be gone. Trust me. I know.
I don't think you'll ever not love babies. That's part of being a woman. You'll know if you're done. Let no one guilt you or sway you.
Good luck!
I think if you are even debating it then you're not done!!! If Josh was willing, I know I would NOT be done after I have this baby in June. I think BIG families are so great, and with parents like you and Chris what could go wrong. But like your friends have said before me its ultimately up to you, Chris and Heavenly Father. Good luck with this huge decision.
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