Oh my......

I don't even know where to start, it has been a crazy month. I don't even know what we have been doing but I know I haven't stopped. Soccer is going in full swing, and with each boy playing, that means 3 practices and 3 games each week, and that is on top of scouts, Dr. Appointments, orthodontist appointments for Mason, choir for Mason twice a week, Chris' school, and soooo much homework. We have also been up at mom's helping when we can, and I am staying quite busy doing hair. So life = chaos right now.

I did have a birthday which was really nice. The boys spoiled me, and Mason even decided to miss choir (which he is loving), so he could eat the waffles that Chris had made for me that morning. They got me a really cute shirt, some yoga pants, and some gum (I tried to not take that personal). Chris and I went out to lunch, and then we went out on a date that night. It was great. Today all my girls took me out to lunch at Olive Garden, and I really enjoyed that. I got my lunch paid for by all my wonderful friends, and some delicious cake, and a wonderful bracelet from here from two of my awesome girls. It makes me feel all fancy, and I love it, I can't wait to buy more.

On a more depressing note, it was two months yesterday since the accident, and it still feel unreal. I can't quite describe it. I just know that I miss him more and more each day. There are so many things that I would never think would remind me of him, but they do, and that kills me. I wanted that phone call on the 23rd wishing me a Happy Birthday even though he was a day early, and then I wanted the real call the next day saying "Happy Birthday KT!" I miss it! I miss him. I miss his smile, his advice, and he stupid jokes. My boys miss him, just the other day McKay asked for a ride on the tractor and I told him I don't know how to drive the tractor. He said "Grandpa did, and he would take me for a ride." It broke my heart! I want them to remember him always. I want to remember him too, I want to never forget him, and never go a day without thinking about him. I am so afraid that that day will come, and that makes me scared! If you didn't know my father I promise you that you will want to look him up when you get up there, because he will change your life. He is the most giving man. Everyone that I have talked to since the accident has testified to that. He made everyone feel loved, and wanted, and like they were the most important person in the world at that moment in time.

The boys favorite things about him:

Mason- Loved hunting with him.

Camden- Loved going to the pizza buffet with him.

McKay- Loved getting ice cream with him. And when he took him on his potty trained outing.

Morgan- Looks at his picture and says "Da"

I love you Daddy! I think about you everyday. I am trying to make you proud. I am trying to be the mother to my kids that you want me to be. I will see you again one day, I will make sure of that, there is nothing that can keep me from you. There is nothing in this world that is worth losing you. You are my hero! I am happy to say that I married someone similar to you. I am proud Camden is like you, he is naughty, but that is okay. He misses you, he remembers you by praying for mom. She will be taken care of, my boys love her, I love her, and Chris loves her. No one can ever take your place, and no one ever will, those are some big shoes to fill, but we are trying to help carry some of that huge load that you carried. You are amazing. You had the largest testimony of the gospel, and I am so proud of you and the man you had become in the church. I love you so much, and I always will, my heart aches that I won't see you again on this earth, but I have the knowledge and the faith that I will see you again.

Until we meet again.....